Bad Film Club

I’m unhappy. Like, seriously upset about the direction my life’s taken and I find myself reminiscing on the past, on a time that wasn’t necessarily good so much as it was better. Eating chinese food in my cramped bedroom watching bootleg VHS anime I got from a shady dude in Chinatown, listening to the thunder outside. This was back in NYC where they got storms, you see. Anyway, I had shitty friends but they existed in physical form and that was kinda cool, I guess. And, man, the ideas I had. I wrote down rulebooks for RPGs. No shit, I had a 100+ page rulebook with stats-a-gogo for a baroque-ish cyberpunk metaphysical vampire clan RPG before (a) it became cool and (b) it became so not cool at all. And it fit on a floppy disk! Remember those?! Holy shit, I typed out hell of Word documents and they fit on a 3.5” diskette. That’s a whole megabyte, you guys. I don’t even know how that’s possible anymore! I’ll make a .txt with the word “fagbutt” in there and it’ll require at LEAST a CD-R now.

Whatever, I wasn’t very happy then either but I was under the illusion that things were ok because I did what I liked and didn’t have a bunch of responsibilities so I ended up creating things. I found shit to do, you know? While things are different now and I can’t slack off as much as I could when I was younger, I can still find the time to do what I like, right? Well, fuck, the internet’s ruined my life. And it’s ruined yours too. I used to have conversations with my friends online before Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr. And those aren’t even bad examples (ok, Tumblr does waste a lot of my time), I’m talking about shitty blog sites and YouTube, which also wasn’t around when I really utilized the net. And when it came out, I thought “fuck yes tutorials and information and culture.” Now, it’s “lol kids getting hurt is funny AWWW CUTE PUPPY.” I’m getting nothing done because social networking’s distracted me and all of my friends. Everyone’s got me on their myface circlets but we don’t talk. And we’ve gotten older.

I’m dying, old and gray and bitter, at the age of 28.5. Maybe I could find the one media job in Portland (hahaha) if I had the skills of an ancient, a conduit of knowledge and power, god made flesh but I don’t study anymore thanks to 4ch, Kongregate, Cheggit, Tumblr, YouTube, ThePirateBay for educational purposes and Steam. Kind of a problem. So, in 2012, since my mom’s going through the same existential crisis now that I normally do and I’ve gotten to finally witness what I look like when I freak out about what I’m gonna do with my life, I’m gonna actually do my resolutions. You don’t have to believe me and you won’t get any progress posts because I’m going on an Oasis-style break. Oh, I’ll be around, play a show every now and then, bitch about my brother, but I’m “done” otherwise. Got better things to do, you know? I mean, what if the world DOES end in the coming year? What will the gods say about my life? No, this will not do at all.

Gotta go hit the sleep and then, tomorrow, I’m hitting the books. You should know how to find my facebook (have to be alive somewhere, right?)/gmail/tweeters by now.

edit: fuck it I’m bored. Did you miss me?