Stephen Colbert: People are offended by everything and don’t understand or appreciate humor. Also, opinions are outlawed in this new, free progressive state, so Colbert should be sent to the ovens. Oh, he was joking? …Well, I refuse to concede, I still think his perceived hate is worth my actual hate! It cancels out, right?
Firefox CEO Dude: He doesn’t like gay people. You don’t like him for not liking gay people. And he’s out of a job because of it? Well, maybe you should “resign” for having an opinion too. Yeah, yeah, I know it doesn’t work that way. And yet it just worked that way, didn’t it? Hate republicans? Good on ‘ya, fellow freedom fighter. Hate gay people? Burn him at the stake. No fallacy in this logic at all. - Sent from my iPad 2, which was made and sold by a company that is against gay rights but who cares because it’s so awesome.
Matt Adams: “that shove was enough to knock him back a step so it wasn’t friendly at all!” That’s right, we are all weak enough to be killed by a tap and therefore all physical contact, even in jest or friendship or during the act of fuck-making, should be punished by law. “ugh so players can just shove fans now.” People taunt people, people shove people, people cry about it on the internet. Baseball is fucking stupid anyway.
Wil Wheaton: I don’t care.
James Franco: He was legal in both countries, she was legal in both countries, she said no, nothing happened. “Celebrities pressure girls into giving them Lil B style footjobs tho.” Except when they don’t. And celebrities are people with celebrity status so the aggro pussy bloggers should be saying “people pressure people into sex.” Except when they don’t because the girl fucking said no and he fucking dropped it. And it was on the internet. It was a conversation. People flirt. Maybe they don’t flirt with you but that’s ok, do some situps and get out there, meet people. One day, it’ll happen for you too.
Tom Ford: Not Rob Ford.
Rob Ford: He smoked crack and the whole of the English speaking world hates him for it. He’s a good mayor and a nice guy and rolls with the punches. Would you rather Rudolph Giuliani? I mean, he doesn’t smoke crack, does he? Probably does cocaine but you can’t prove it so it’s all good. He just hates black people and set up NYC to be a police state where streets were closed off and random hat and shoe checks were done by machine gun-toting cops but he’s the “mayor of America” because he hid in a bunker during 9/11, most probably not smoking crack rocks. He’s the hero we need right now, obviously. Rob Ford is just a jolly Canadian who might drink a beer with you so fuck that guy for having flaws.
In summation, racist jokes are worse than rape, rape jokes are worse than rape, do as I say - not as I do, except for celebrities who can’t say or do anything that normal people can because fuck them, die cis scum, and apparently someone was called a nerd and got defended on the internet by the new crucible of nerds, it seems. Actually, is it The Crucible? Or it is more like a new McCarthyism scare? “You were insensitive!” “I know an insensitive guy!” "Report all insensitives!"
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